Day 7/7 Traditional Ceremony Humor

The times have changed since we were young but then again some things remain the same. In this case the former is true as we enjoyed the comfort of our tightly packed seats at a recent traditional wedding ceremony. We had only been settled and started the festivities of the dance between both the spokesmen, when the clergy man present was called upon to say a prayer for the day’s events. 

That in itself was no problem but when the clergy man flanked by his assistant concluded the prayer and brought out 2 baskets to collect offertory – that was a shock for me.

Sister: ‘Who collects offertory at a kwanjula?’

Me: ‘I do not know.’

Sister: ‘Have you ever seen this happen before?’

Me: ‘The prayer yes, the offertory no.’

Murmurs went on through our tent but as we were the guests, not wanting to seem rude we complied and went on with the ceremony. It went on up until the point where the spokesman on the brides side excused the sheikh who had to go and lead prayer in a nearby mosque and so some Muslims from our tent rose up quickly  and non hesitantly to join him only to return about an hour and a half later. It is an understatement for me to say that they missed the most important aspects of the entire event.

But what took the cake was when the spokesman made these remarks in the heat of the moment albeit attempting to sound funny after 6 / 7 groups had already come out to greet us as is customary in a Kiganda traditional marriage ceremony.

Brides Spokesman: ‘Owaye let these young girls go to the house so that the next group of important people can come out.’

Grooms Spokesman: ‘But before they leave let me thank them for having good manners and welcoming guests.’

Queue music and the 20 something girls danced off beaming from ear to ear as the next batch prepared themselves to come out and face us in the middle of the courtyard.

Brides Spokesman: ‘Eh but let me wait and see whether you will also give this next group gifts after all this is group 7, but then again muko looks like a mugaga.’

The whole time these words were leaving his mouth I was in shock and my mouth fell open because the entire time leading up to this point he had been making subtle hints to issues regarding the grooms financial muscle. Forgive me if this does not bother you; but what purpose was this event set up to serve if not to unite 2 families and officially hand over the girl to her suitor. I did not think this was an opportunity to milk your guests for every last coin they came with.

After all the gifts were waiting to be exchanged, the live cow’s presence was yet to be verified and a tree of remembrance planted; it was time to have a meal. We waited patiently as the spokesman laid out the order in which we were to queue up for our meal. Nothing was out of the ordinary at that point aside from what the DJ played when the instruction was given for us to head to our serving point.

DJ: ‘Hello the foods is now available, but please avoid the sausage rolls,’ was played over the sound system

My and sister and I burst out into laughter and could not wait to check and see if there was indeed any sausage roll or sausage  based aspect of the meal. I am sorry to say we were disappointed.