Educating the Kisementi security guard bully.

As Ugandans, we need to find a way of dealing with our insecurities and tapping into every professional fibre of our being so that we can actually do our jobs as per our job descriptions. A couple of months ago I started working at a cool place in Kisementi, now although I greatly enjoyed my new job I had the daily nightmare of where to find parking in this busy part of the city.

To deal with this in the early days of this new job assignment, I decided to come to work early to avoid any issues and get a head start on meeting my new team. I arrived at 6:45am so there was definitely no problem finding parking next to my workplace, so I was happy that I could rest easy at least for that day and focus on work. At about 7:00pm at the end of a jam-packed but amazing day, I strutted to my car in the parking area excited to head home and unwind over a new series I had been meaning to watch for a while.

I got to my car with no incident and was pleased to find all my car lights and side mirrors intact but as I unlocked my car door and flung my laptop bag into it I was greeted by a shrewd and unfamiliar voice.

 Security Guard: ‘’Hello madam, so you are the one who has really disturbed me today.’’

Me: ‘’ Hello, I beg your pardon!’’

Security Guard: ‘’How do you take my parking for a whole day?’’

Me: ‘’Your parking! I do not understand sir, kindly explain.’’ I said as I really did want him to since I wondered whether my mental faculties were dull due to the fatigue from the overly engaged day I just had.

Security Guard: ‘’Now, why did you park here? Don’t you know that I am the one in charge of this parking? Didn’t you see the sign post saying NO PARKING when you arrived?’’

Me: ‘’No I did not, there was no sign when I arrived.’’

Security Guard: ‘’ Madam, are you saying that I am lying?’’

Me: ‘’No, I am not but what time did you arrive here sir?’’

Security Guard: ‘’What does that matter! ’’

Me: ‘’I just want to know what time you arrived that’s al.’’

Security Guard: ‘’Around 8:00am.’’

Me: ‘’Good and who usually puts up the NO PARKING sign?’’

Security Guard: ‘’But now after abusing my parking you want to interrogate me. Do you know who I am, don’t you see my uniform? Madam, remember who is who here.’’

Me: ‘’No I am not, so just answer the question for me please sir,’’ I responded ever so calmly.

Security Guard: ‘’Of course it is me because I am in charge of this parking space,’’ he answered in a shrill but elevated tone.

Me: ‘’Okay, well I arrived at 6:45am and you were not yet here and there was no sign post.’’

Security Guard: ‘’Anyway that is not the point, the point is; do not park here. I am the only one who can let you park here.’’

Me: ‘’I did not know that thanks for the information.’’

Security Guard: ‘’Madam, do you think I am stupid. Are you making fun of me?’’

Me: ‘’No, I am not sir. So sir, where should I park then?’’

Security Guard: ‘’Anywhere, there is that whole parking area there just not here. This parking is for management of these shops and restaurant.’’

When he said this I thought to myself, this is why most Ugandans never progress in their workplaces. They think that authority is a license to bully people or be rude to them without even knowing whether this might be their new boss.

Me: ‘’Okay then sir, I would like to inform you that I am the manager of this restaurant.’’

Security Guard: ‘’….Ehh, now why didn’t you say that’ he responded after some hesitation as a dog caught with its tail between its legs would.

Me: ‘’Sir have a good day,’’ I responded as I got into the driver’s side of my car and prepared to drive off.

As I did, the security guard dashed away behind my car and removed the NO PARKING sign post he had put behind my vehicle that was blocking my exit. Going forward whenever he sees me he seems very numb and gagged often walking in the opposite direction when I walk past him. The morale of this account is to remind all you Ugandans out there earning a living as employees and not the boss to remain humble, we have enough Mufasa’s in our lives.

The Corporate job broker

As my week came to an end last Friday afternoon, I made my way to Ssebankyayis one of my favourite local food restaurants in Wandegeya for a late lunch. I was fortunate to sit down next to 2 middle aged gentlemen who were engaged in an amicable conversation as they ate their lunch. I chose to use the word fortunate given the tone of the conversation from these 2 gentlemen.

Gent 1: “Hello, yes sebo. (Hello, yes sir)

Get me 5 more containers of the big size like the other one I ordered for my shipment from Dubai. Do not worry about the payment, my client is a very wealthy Mukiga. He has the money to pay.” he said as he hung up his mobile.

Gent 2: “Eh so I can see business is good.”

Gent 1: “Yes, it is not bad. Haha bwentyo naye how are things?” (Haha so it is but how are things)

Gent 2: “Ahh am waiting to hear from the other guy I told you about.”

Gent 1: “Which one?”

Gent 2: “Oli guy owa Movit deal.” (The other guy of the Movit deal)

Gent 1: “Ohh so he is sorting out your job issue?”

Gent 2: “Yes, oli guy oba he has inside information! Whenever he applies for a job or tells you to apply, the person gets it as long as you follow his instructions and he gets his dimes.” (Dimes - money)

Gent 1: “Eh, so what position is he getting for you?”

Gent 2: “Regional Manager for Movit.”

Gent 1: “Ehh now, how much is that going to cost you,… Zibera meka?” he asked as soup slipped down the edge of his mouth and he briskly wiped up. (How much does it cost?)

Gent 2: “5 million.”

Gent 1: “Eh, kale naye you will make that back mangu. If he is a sure deal why not.” (Eh, okay but you will make that back quickly)

As I listened to this I was amused right until the 5 million Ugx was mentioned. What made me pay attention was the manner in which such a sum was casually thrown around in this conversation. But that aside the gist of it all is that the nature of our corporate work scene requires the job seeker to either have inside information or leverage for employment to be secured. 

What happened to your eligibility being gauged using your track record or having an outstanding resume. If things are this bad what are we doing to the next generation’s workforce, how will they perform, just think of the problems we are creating at every level.

While I pondered on these things, the 2 gentlemen decided they had had enough of their luwombo and abruptly got up and stormed off as they picked their teeth in a great deal of merriment. Oh Uganda!