Educating the Kisementi security guard bully.

As Ugandans, we need to find a way of dealing with our insecurities and tapping into every professional fibre of our being so that we can actually do our jobs as per our job descriptions. A couple of months ago I started working at a cool place in Kisementi, now although I greatly enjoyed my new job I had the daily nightmare of where to find parking in this busy part of the city.

To deal with this in the early days of this new job assignment, I decided to come to work early to avoid any issues and get a head start on meeting my new team. I arrived at 6:45am so there was definitely no problem finding parking next to my workplace, so I was happy that I could rest easy at least for that day and focus on work. At about 7:00pm at the end of a jam-packed but amazing day, I strutted to my car in the parking area excited to head home and unwind over a new series I had been meaning to watch for a while.

I got to my car with no incident and was pleased to find all my car lights and side mirrors intact but as I unlocked my car door and flung my laptop bag into it I was greeted by a shrewd and unfamiliar voice.

 Security Guard: ‘’Hello madam, so you are the one who has really disturbed me today.’’

Me: ‘’ Hello, I beg your pardon!’’

Security Guard: ‘’How do you take my parking for a whole day?’’

Me: ‘’Your parking! I do not understand sir, kindly explain.’’ I said as I really did want him to since I wondered whether my mental faculties were dull due to the fatigue from the overly engaged day I just had.

Security Guard: ‘’Now, why did you park here? Don’t you know that I am the one in charge of this parking? Didn’t you see the sign post saying NO PARKING when you arrived?’’

Me: ‘’No I did not, there was no sign when I arrived.’’

Security Guard: ‘’ Madam, are you saying that I am lying?’’

Me: ‘’No, I am not but what time did you arrive here sir?’’

Security Guard: ‘’What does that matter! ’’

Me: ‘’I just want to know what time you arrived that’s al.’’

Security Guard: ‘’Around 8:00am.’’

Me: ‘’Good and who usually puts up the NO PARKING sign?’’

Security Guard: ‘’But now after abusing my parking you want to interrogate me. Do you know who I am, don’t you see my uniform? Madam, remember who is who here.’’

Me: ‘’No I am not, so just answer the question for me please sir,’’ I responded ever so calmly.

Security Guard: ‘’Of course it is me because I am in charge of this parking space,’’ he answered in a shrill but elevated tone.

Me: ‘’Okay, well I arrived at 6:45am and you were not yet here and there was no sign post.’’

Security Guard: ‘’Anyway that is not the point, the point is; do not park here. I am the only one who can let you park here.’’

Me: ‘’I did not know that thanks for the information.’’

Security Guard: ‘’Madam, do you think I am stupid. Are you making fun of me?’’

Me: ‘’No, I am not sir. So sir, where should I park then?’’

Security Guard: ‘’Anywhere, there is that whole parking area there just not here. This parking is for management of these shops and restaurant.’’

When he said this I thought to myself, this is why most Ugandans never progress in their workplaces. They think that authority is a license to bully people or be rude to them without even knowing whether this might be their new boss.

Me: ‘’Okay then sir, I would like to inform you that I am the manager of this restaurant.’’

Security Guard: ‘’….Ehh, now why didn’t you say that’ he responded after some hesitation as a dog caught with its tail between its legs would.

Me: ‘’Sir have a good day,’’ I responded as I got into the driver’s side of my car and prepared to drive off.

As I did, the security guard dashed away behind my car and removed the NO PARKING sign post he had put behind my vehicle that was blocking my exit. Going forward whenever he sees me he seems very numb and gagged often walking in the opposite direction when I walk past him. The morale of this account is to remind all you Ugandans out there earning a living as employees and not the boss to remain humble, we have enough Mufasa’s in our lives.

4:00 am visitor

I often write about humorous aspects of life that I chance upon on my travels or amusing discoveries I make while making my way in this world. But allow me to steer away from this for this moment to tell you a tale that amused, shocked and frightened all in one go.

11:55pm

It was a night like no other as I watched my favorite cooking show as women do while lying on the couch as I sipped a cup of strong tea to ready me for sleep only that I did not get that far. Feeling too tired to get myself to bed I decided to nap for a while on the sofa as I bargained with my will to muster up the energy to carry me to bed.  I was soon out like a baby from a warm shower on a bottle after being hyper active for the entire day.

3:59am

In the thick of the night I came to consciousness for a brief couple of seconds to turn in the sofa in which I now lay only to pick up sounds in the background. For a moment, a part of thought I was hearing things as they were so low they were almost inaudible to pick up. My brain quickly started to filter out every single sound in the entire house allocating to whichever home appliance may still be on or item such as fridge, phone, TV, door squeaking you get the point. Only that this time the TV was off as I had turned it off before I dozed off, the doors were all locked as I had grown accustomed to doing so that did not squeak in the night and my mobile phone was on silent.

I became even more attentive and listened to all the sounds outside trying to convince myself that I was hearing things and I should go back to sleep. Only that this time when I isolated all the other sounds I could hear silent screeching from outside, my paranoia kicked in and I tip toed to the window as if  not to scare whatever and whoever was outside. I honestly did not think I would find anything as I first looked at my car right outside the window and it seemed pretty intact only for my gut feeling to kick in as I went to the extreme end and took a look in the direction of my neighbor next doors’ car. I did it almost as an afterthought while I was pulling away from the window only to be shocked at what my eyes had come across.

4:02pm

There was a lean framed young man in fitting clothes comprising of a yellow shirt with a maroon sweater and navy blue skinny jeans peering through the glass of his car. I was so stunned by his boldness because there was a security light just above him. All I could muster at the time was to hit the window violently so that he was made aware that I had seen him but I did not utter a word since I am not the uber- feminine type who ululate and scream. He ducked to get cover and disappeared from sight as he waited it out until an hour later when I was asleep - or so he thought.

I waited for the inhabitants of the house and car I was defending to come out and walk around and aid me in ensuring that we show our presence so that the thief/ thieves would not come back but no one did.

But owing to my adrenaline boost, I could not go back to my sleep that was so rudely interrupted by him at 3:00am. I transferred my duvet from the room and laid it out on the living room carpet and waited to make sure that he indeed was gone.

5:10pm

Again I hear the little almost nonexistent sounds I had heard once that were now all too familiar and yet still easy to miss. I walked silently to the window and peeked through once again only this time what I saw was a little different but more dramatic. The lean gentleman of the night had found his way to the inside of the car and was in the passenger seat with a flash light busy at work. My adrenaline turned to rage at how impudent this lad was - he really had the nerve to actually come back a second time. Now this time I hit the window so hard I thought I would break through the glass and this time I screamed.

Me: “Gwe! Gwe!”

Thief: …… (Continues to flash his light in the car as he attempts to continue work both quickly and silently)

I do not think he heard me so I stepped it up a notch as I was a bit of a distance away from him and the fact that he was in a car did not help.

Me: Eh gwe mumotoka, nkulaba

Thief: “………….”  (He looked in the general direction of the voice he was hearing for a few seconds and then began to exit the car)

Me: “Vamumotoka gwe, gwe, gwe, nkulaba ngenda okuyita polisi bakutwale.”

Now this threat would have been very non-threatening aside from the fact that we have a police post about 250 meters from our house, so I can see why he ran off.

Thief: “…………”

5:22am

The thief exited the car and closed the door rather gently as if not to wake its owners who were dead asleep and then he covered his face with his hand and passed under the window from which I watched him and run behind the house. Had I not heard a thud a few seconds later I would not have been a little reassured that he had scaled the over the back wall and run off. I did call the police and they instructed the police post closest to us to come to check it out, they never did.

7:00am

I lay awake up until daylight and woke up my neighbors’ so that they could check and access the damage done the previous night since they did not even come out to support me when I was chasing away a thug from making off with their car parts. I was shocked at how calm she was almost frustrated and defeated at the thought that she had yet another part to replace and said my husband will replace it. She has been robbed before and it was actually when she had a guard around so she fired him, so it poses the question – how safe are we this festive season if they policemen at these police posts cannot even care for their respective zones and divisions.

Must we first loose our lives!

6:00pm

PS: I am still waiting for the police to come and check out the scene of the crime, let’s hope that they do sometime this year or I may have a thief sleeping right next to my window pretty soon.