Nail Therapy with my psychologist.

As a lady who has a very grueling schedule I enjoy treating myself usually once a month to a manicure and pedicure at my usual saloon with my regular nail guy. However I had been away travelling for work and so I did not get a chance to pop in for almost 2 months so when I went in for my appointment he was happier than usual to see me. 

If any of you wonder how women can go to a saloon to spend between Ugx 20,000 – 50,000 for a nail appointment, I will also ask how men can go for a haircut which comes with a massage and facial or how they go out to the same bar every Friday to spend 250 – 300,000. So allow me to choose my poison and let us call it even so I can move onto the rest of my story.

I am a student of psychology (or so I think I am), so it baffles me how a nail guy gets a timid and very stern lady to unwind enough to have a conversation and enjoy the delivery of pain at her cuticles being pulled out over the course of an hour and a half.  

Then you will appreciate this art of persuasion and the ability that they have to put someone at ease enough to unwind. So I thought to myself, adequately trained why wouldn’t they be able to apply these skills to hostage negotiation or counselling of trauma individuals who would ordinarily find it difficult to recover due to over internalization of the traumatic incidents that they would often be uncomfortable to divulge.

Yes this is a very left field line of thinking but bear with me and chew on this as you follow my conversation.

Nail Guy:  “Madam, did you report him.”

Me: “Pardon, report who?” (I responded wearing a mixed expression of shock and bewilderment)

Nail Guy: “Daddy wa waka. (The man/ father of the home to mean my husband)

You must be wondering how he knew I was married but I was wearing my wedding band which I had to take off to get my manicure done.

Me: “No, hahaha. I burn my hand from steam from one of my cooking pots at home.”

Nail Guy: “Are you sure, because if he beat you then you need to report him or he will do it again”

I burst out into laughter shaking my head but only then did I realize that he was dead serious about his comment.

Me: “No, I was clumsy when I took the pot lid off and burnt myself. Do not worry.”

Nail Guy: “Oh madam, that’s good to hear.

Me: “My husband is a gentleman, I am in very safe hands.”

Nail Guy: “That’s good madam, then you are very lucky.”

Me: “Yes, I am blessed.”

Nail Guy: “It is very serious! With some people we see that things are not okay at home since they come with bruises all over them but they are hiding it with long sleeves and yet they come out of powerful cars.”

Me: “Really, you can’t be serious?”

Nail Guy: “No, I see it from time to time and advice some of them who are not too tough to go to report to police and take care of themselves.”

The rest of the conversation went as expected with me expressing concern and him narrating a very horrific tale from one of his clients. The take away for me from this conversation is that we should be attentive to our surroundings and people around us we meet or interact with. Your action and concern may be what saves someone’s life or makes sure that they get the help that they need.

I have a new found level of respect from my nail guy and even encouraged him to look into a side job as a counselor because he clearly has a calling in the profession as it comes naturally to him. Every individual is important and has a crucial role to play in society and my nail guy reminded me of that with his kindness and concern for others.  

The unprofessional supplier

When you have worked for a good amount of time in both corporate and private limited company/ business settings, you must have experienced a fair share of unprofessional suppliers especially when you live in this third world country  of ours known as Uganda – the banana republic.

April: So it was only 4 months ago when I contacted a major production house whose core competences are commercial/ large format printing, personalized digital printing, design, business stationery and promotional products. I contacted them through a sales person we have used once before to procure black basic branded round neck t-shirts that I needed produced professionally but quickly within a week. After a week of no contact I reached out to her and my quotation was sent to which I quickly confirmed and asked her to move ahead to make me a sample for approval so that my small order would be printed and delivered immediately.

Sales Agent: “Hello Joyce, the quotation has been sent have you received it?”

Me: “Yes I have.”

Sales Agent: “Can you send us an LPO (Local Purchase Order) or make payment so that we can move forward to produce your work.”

Me: “We do not use LPO’s but give me a week and your cheque will be ready for pick up please bring my sample for sign off so that there are no delays just like the last time.”

Sales Agent: “Okay.”

Now, for all of you who are blessed with a fast paced work environment you know how 1 week can fly by as you bury your head in the day to day juggling of multiple tasks. So after a week I gave her a call and received no answer this continued for an entire month until one mid-morning she finally answered.

June

Me: “Hello, how are you”

Sales Agent: “I am okay.”

Me: “I am calling to follow up on the order of t-shirts I placed a while ago that needed to be delivered in 1 week.”

Sales Agent: “Who is this?”

Me: “Joyce from company X, I was sure that you had saved my phone number.”

Sales Agent: “Oh sorry mukwano mmhhh…”

Me: “So, what happened to my sample and my entire order? You have not been answering calls for over a month.”

Sales Agent: “Yes, munange mukwano nabade mu accident ku boda boda so I was on leave,” (she responded with no ounce of professionalism.

Me: “Oh I am sorry to hear that, so are you back at work or can you refer me to someone…” before I could even finish she cut me short with this response.

Sales Agent: “Neda mukwano, kati nkomye wo ku mulimu, actually I reported today morning so I will work on you.”

Me: “But why didn’t you communicate this so that I can reach out to someone else?”

Sales Agent: “No, neda eh it just slipped my mind. So you did not actually get your order?”

Me: “No I did not.”

Sales Agent: “Eh kale, mpozi what was the order. Bambi sijukira”

So I repeated the specifics of the order and even read her the quotation number

Me: “So, I hope that there will not be any delays and I expect my sample delivered mid this week and the final full order delivered by end of this week.”

Sales Agent: “Mukwano, ngenda ku kolako.”

Me: “Alright, well I wish you a quick recovery.”

Maybe I am uptight and well over my actual age bracket but I was rather amused how a client moves from their name to become “Mukwano.” Please note that never at any time have I interacted with this sales agent in Luganda or any local dialect. I thought of an individual/ client who was in my position and might not understand Luganda might take offence to this entire conversation.

July: Anyway I digress, so I hoped that this hiccup was indeed a one off for her; sadly she did not get back to me and I was too swamped to chase her down for a while. So I eventually called her again early July and as expected she did not answer or respond to my phone calls so this time I resorted to using the company landline and asked for her or someone in marketing to assist me.

After a few transfers and repeating my order number and specifications 2 to 3 times I hang up and got a call back from a new sales/ marketing executive and she clarified all my details and promised to pick up the cheque Friday that week as I had instructed. She did pick up the cheque and brought my sample the very next Monday and although there were some issues with getting our company logo colours exactly right, I appreciated her terrific turnaround time. The new sales agent delivered my full order and she dealt with my entire order from first interaction to delivery in 14 days.

I will clearly not order from this organization again but the new sales agent made me almost reconsider because of how professional she was. A few bad apples can kill your business and no customer is too small so take the time to KYC – Know Your Customer, if bankers do it so can you. This applies whether you sell Rolexes or run a multinational brand. 

Food for thought

There are so many things that the first sales agent should not have done so to business owners who value enhanced customer value to achieve loyalty that in turn ensures return business. Here are a few tips I would like to share.

·         Know and understand what kind of person is handling your business and representing your brand?

·         Intermittently check on some of your clients to see whether they are happy with your service whether or not they have recently ordered.

·         When customers give you feedback about your staff, take it seriously and do not be biased because the member of staff is a favorite.

·         Apologize or ensure that your member of staff who dropped the ball does so to the client for their time wasted. Time is precious and customers’ time should be valued because it costs them.

·         Do not only focus on driving sales volume also evaluate your staff on how they do customer relationship management?

A Woman’s job hunt dilemma

It is on a personal note that I begin this blog post. I recently got married to my longtime friend and partner and long before then I had been applying for jobs for positions I felt were interesting and would challenge me to grow. Fortunately or unfortunately I had never received a call back then all of a sudden in a 6 month stretch, I attended 7 interviews for 3 different positions.

None of this entire process was interesting, aside from the following conversation that transpired during one of my interviews. So at the end of one of the 2 interview I attended I was asked rather odd but unusual questions for me.

Interviewer 1: "So, if I may ask how old are you?"

Now to provide context, I wear my hair short, natural and textured (the “kyangwe” style) so my age is questioned a lot when I submit my CV so I paused briefly but answered the question.

Interviewer 1: "What is your status?"

Me: "If you mean my relationship status, recently married."

Interviewer 1: "This job would require you to travel periodically to headquarters and within the region to our operations hub in Kenya. Initially you would also travel for 2 week training in Dubai. Would that be an issue?"

Me: "No!"

Interviewer 2: "So you will be able to travel back and forth to group when needed?"

Me: "Yes."

I commend the interviewer for being very calm and tactful about how emphatic he was on the issue of travel by repeating the question so I gave him more additional feedback without any coercion. 

Me: "I currently travel bimonthly for my job and my husband travels monthly for work as well but it has always been in country. So I do not see a problem."

Interviewer 1: “Oh okay

He seemed more settled after that answer but a day after the interview I obviously took some time off to ponder this recent shift in my relationship - work dynamic.

Naïvely, I guess I assumed that although I had gotten married my day to day would have minimal alteration especially since I have been with my partner for 7 years. What I was prepared for was the shift in terms of house chores, cooking dinner and having to do more socialization with his friends and for his side of business as well.

Now what I never expected to experience was my relationship status to be a cause for my competence to be in question for a new job placement.

I must add that both interviewers were male and I did not get a call back because I emphasized work - life balance as important to me especially since I planned on slowing down from very manic work schedule which was characteristic of all my previous jobs.

At another interview with a prominent company, at the preliminary stages the interviewers were women up to the 2 final sessions. It is at these sessions where my marital status or whether I had children came up and it was never the ladies who asked the question but the men at the table.

Male Interviewer: “Are you married?” 

Me: “Yes, recently married.” 

Male Interviewer: “Oh congratulations, do you have children.”

Me: “No!”

Male Interviewer: “Oh, that makes sense, then the only question I wanted ask you does not apply.” 

So through some back channeling I found out that the question was not related to my competence but how I balance work and personal life (in the event that I had said I had a young child.)

An offer was made at this interview that was below expected rate for the work load and I was called in to explain why I declined which I did only to be told that I should not bother about the actual compensation of the package but the other attractive benefits. 

Aside from that, I was dumbfounded when it was the female in the room who mentioned this shortly after;

Female HR: “You do not have a child, right. Good because you will be on the road to visit 60% of these sites for the better part of the first couple of months and that would be disruptive.”

I think you all know that after that conversation I declined the offer and it is after these interviews that all I have to say to working women who are in top management, I have a new found respect for you. The way you continue to rise to the challenge when the bar has been set 2 notches higher because you are a woman, I do not consider myself a feminist but I would be lying if I said I left this interview cycle the same woman.

My fuel tank cover is missing.

2018 was a whole lot of a year for me with many personal and professional milestones achieved which meant that I made huge strides forward. However, this also meant I needed to step back from one of the things that I love the most which is blogging, the expression of my thoughts/ self and use of myself as a muse to mirror the silent conversations/ start conversations that are often felt as mundane.

In short, I have come back to my passion of writing, I do not know how regular this will be but I am seeking to push myself to experience and make my life as colorful as before. So stick around and you might read a few things that you may like and come back for more.

On 27th December 2017 my car third party insurance expired and so I did the responsible thing and drove to the Total Kira road station across from KFC for renewal. I paid for renewal and as the lady replaced my old sticker with a new one and given that I only fuel from total, I decided to kill 2 birds with one stone. I am a creature of habit so I usually go to the same restaurants, fuel stations and supermarkets that I like so I decided to fuel up with my usual full tank for the week. Everyone who knows me well knows that I hate having to stop to fuel up mid-week given my full schedule. Everything went well and the third party insurance lady was helpful so I drove off without a second thought that anything might be wrong.

A week later at my second usual station at Total Najjera, I saluted my favorite pump attendant and the following conversation ensued;

Me: ‘’Happy New Year sebo.’’

Pump Attendant: ‘’ Happy New Year madam,’’ he responded as he opened my car fuel tank cover.

‘’Eh madam, please come out and see this before you say I stole your cover?’’

Me: ‘’What are you talking about?’’

Pump Attendant: ‘’Your fuel tank cover is missing. Where did you fuel up the last time, I know you fuel weekly?’’

Me: ‘’Total Bukoto.”

Pump Attendant: ‘’Oh, if you have a receipt and remember the day that you fueled up you can go back to them and they help you.’’

Me: ‘’Thank you very much, so fill my tank not to full capacity though and then let me head there.’’

So I headed to the Total Bukoto and asked for the manager (Indian) I was told to wait for the supervisor (Ugandan) since the manager was not around. I was given the run around the whole afternoon with claims of the fuel pump attendant was off that day, then the supervisor was sick, then they did not know who the pump attendant was.

To cut the long story short, I was told that the manager was off then the following day in the morning, he had resigned and in the afternoon the station mechanics and pump attendants avoided me like the plague. Now those who have met me know that I am very agreeable and often let things go which is why when I decide I have an axe to grind with you I go all the way. So I told them thank you, played the bigger fool and showed up the next day mid-morning and headed straight for the manager’s office and he was in.

He asked me for my details and I relayed what had happened and after he proved that I was indeed at their station that day since I had a third party sticker purchased at their station he referred me to their other branch on Wampewo avenue. So, it is at this point that I realized that the 2 stations are owned by a family and 2 Indian brothers run them. I was given a note to hand over to the office manager of the Total Wampewo location who then referred me to the station supervisor and he immediately began to grumble under his breath as he made a beeline for the storage space.

Station manager: "Naye bano ba kyali teba tegera." (but this fellows they do not understand/ stubborn.)

I realized later that he was speaking about the pump attendants from the total Total Kira road location since this seems to have happened before. I know this because I was given 3 fuel tank covers to choose from depending on which fit better. So as all this was going on I asked myself;

1.        Did the pump attendant actually resign or had he been fired for something else?

2.       Where did these fuel tank covers come from?

3.       Was another customer driving around without a fuel tank cover because I had gotten my replacement?

As he replaced my fuel tank cover the Indian station manager walked up to me and said, "My apologies for the inconveniences madam."

I thanked him and decided not to meddle with their internal processes but decided to remain a loyal customer since they had followed through. Now, I am not tribalistic/ racist but let's be honest if the owner of the station had been Ugandan the conversation would have been something like this,

"Are you sure you even came here for fuel?"
"Well no one says they took your fuel tank cover so I don't know what to do for you."

Then I would have been ignored the very same way that the Ugandan station pump attendants and mechanics had done earlier. We often complain that Indians are taking over everything business related leaving nothing for Ugandans. However, my note of caution is, if we spent more time fixing our lacking customer service, poor work ethic, bad attitude towards work and actually showed our customers that we valued their business we might be better candidates to succeed.

Food for thought.

Nakawa Industrial park parking dilemma

We recently went to the URA office at the Nakawa Industrial park and received very hostile customer service from one of their members of staff. The female URA employee was rude and aggressive with us her customers who I must admit had come to register for a TIN number in a bid for tax compliance. So I wondered, what happens to those customers who try to evade taxes if this is how compliant customers are being treated, I can only imagine.

I choose not to digress because the URA woman is not the main story here. So as we drove into the business park, parking was hard to come by but we eventually found a corner at which to park which was labeled NO PARKING. We did not intend to park there but we had been directed to head in that direction by a G4S security guard from the entrance. Little did we know that an incident would ensue as a result.

G4S Security Guard: ‘’Hello madam, why are you parking here?

Female Driver: ‘’Because I was told to park here but I will not be taking too long anyway. I am only going to the URA office.’’

G4S Security Guard: ‘’Okay madam, any way you will find me here.’’

Female Driver: ‘’Okay, sir!’’ she said as she briskly walked towards the building entry checkpoint to speed things up.

Now between the time she left and her return 12 - 15 minutes later, there was no sign of the security guard at all. But the moment the female driver stepped out of the building and walked towards the car, the security guard appeared from behind a tree smiling from ear t0 ear and said;

G4S Security Guard: ‘’Welcome back madam.’’

Female Driver: ‘’Hihihi thank you, ‘’she said in response.

G4S Security Guard: ‘’Now between you and the madam, who is the boss?’’ he asked the co-driver who was American and Caucasian.

As passengers in the car, my neighbor and I looked at each other a little confused as the co-driver responded;

American Male: ‘’The lady is always the boss, you should know that by now.’’

We all burst into laughter but I must say I was still very confused with his line of questioning as he continued to linger around the driver’s window.

Female Driver:’ ‘’Sebo, get yourself some water,’’ she said as she gave him 1,000 shilling note as we pulled out of the parking area to exit the industrial park.

G4S Security Guard: ‘’Yes, thank you, madam. For sure you are the boss lady.’’

To me, the conversation and actions of the G4S security guard were so wrong on so many levels. First of all, why would he assume that a lady cannot be in charge, secondly, why did he linger at our window for a tip when he clearly receives salary on a monthly basis?

Now to the G4S Security Company, I am not saying you should hunt me down to find out this fellows identity and fire him. No, that will not solve your problem but rather dig deeper into the issue and solve the problem and not treat the symptoms. Yes I know some of it stems from our cultural dilemma, well there can also be a cultural change and it needs to start somewhere or else this security guard and many like him will continue to steadily destroy your G4S security) brand.

Or maybe, I am too particular and pick up on things that should be left alone. This is where I say, the views expressed in this blog are my individual views and do not reflect the views and values of the company(s) I work for.

Tasty roast Pork and Chicken over a makeshift brick fire

Family reunions are both a joy and pain and by pain, I mean all the organizing that goes into it before the big day. All in all, they are well worth it when you look back at all the memories that you have built over the years from deliberately making time to come together and bond, it is priceless.

However, I must focus on the preparation process that leads up to the actual event. My family and I recently decided to have an all sister’s get together as we always do once a year but this time we wanted something different. We eventually decided on having a roast/ barbeque themed lunch to limit the cooking required. I thought this would be simple, never did it occur to me that this could all become a disaster if all the fine details were not followed up.

To cut a long story short, it was the night before the get-together and we did not have a barbeque guy for the day and it was not for trying. We had previously worked with someone a couple of years ago and secured a number of another just in case but the former did not confirm while the latter was not reachable via mobile phone (his phone was turned off). This then led to a dicey conversation between my pal and I who needed to troubleshoot and sort out our 13 hungry children and 6 adults on the way to the lunch in 4 hours.

So I woke up this pal of mine at 8:00am and showed up at his gate at 9:00am and we headed off to Mukono in search of his barbeque guy who would be closer to our get together venue (Mukono). Let’s just say that we bounced around picking one item, then another, to his friends home and then to the market. By 12:00 noon I had the 6kgs of pork and 5 whole chicken cleaned ready for roasting. To cut a long story short, we found the barbeque expert in Mukono straight from a church charity run and ready to dive in and sort out our predicament.

My Friend: ‘’Sebo, nga wabula (Sir, as you are lost?)

Barbeque guy: ‘’Neda, nabade ku churchi lani.’’ (No, I was at a church run) Now he said ‘’lani’’ but meant church-run forgive the mother tongue influence he is a Muganda by tribe. Every Ugandan knows what I mean.

My Friend: ‘’Kale, we have meat to roast here in Mukono and bagenyi are arriving anytime.’’ (bagenyi - guests)

Me: ‘’Yes, actually in 30 minutes. Let me take you to the house so we get started with marinating and set up. So, do you have the sigiri for roasting?’’

Barbeque guy: ‘’ Neda, naye njakuyiya.’’ (No, but I will kuyiya – find a way/ figure something out).

You must be wondering why I was asking him questions in English and he was answering in Luganda. The barbeque guy is educated up to about S.6 but prefers to use his local dialect which I clearly understand so I did not see an issue.

Me: ‘’Kuyiya, ne kiki – figure something out! How?’’

Barbeque guy: ‘’Kakana, tu tambule abagenyi bali mukubo.’’ (Relax, let’s go the guests are on the way.)

I was amused that he was now very concerned about ‘’our’’ guests who were about to arrive especially given that he did not know any one of them and had made us look for him for nearly 2 hours. However, nothing could prepare me for what I was about to witness when we arrived and started prepping the pork and chicken for roasting.

The barbeque guy dug a hole in the un-landscaped section of my sister’s compound and asked for ash which they laid down with charcoal from a lit stove that we provided. This was being done as my friend and I were prepping the marination that consisted of freshly grated ginger, garlic, pineapple, onions, royco mix, salt and sima mbili. I must say that the bricks served quite well in containing the heat needed for the fire to remain a light and the pork and chicken were roasted really well on skewers over the metal rack ordinarily used over a charcoal grill.

The moral of the story for me was that there is always something to learn each day from even the simplest of people. Keep learning so that you never tire and in the words of my new roasting buddy as he calmed me down at the start as we set up,

Barbeque guy: ‘’Kakana, tujakikolako bino si binji, temulya nga ba masasi/majja.’’ (Relax, we will work this out since this is not that much meat, after all, you do not eat roasted meat like – in similar quantities to my army men.)

UTL Broken bone insurance.

Broken bone insurance, what is that? You might be thinking that I am finally going off the rails with this blog post. 

Now with all the hype and tensions around the re-registration of all Sim cards for both nationals and non-Ugandans. I found the phone call I received from my UTL customer service provider very odd.

In the context of what was going on (registration deadlines, stampedes at Kololo airstrip grounds) I found it bizarre that what UTL was selling was broken bone insurance. Broken bone insurance, of all things! Why would you be selling broken bone insurance and how relevant is it for the current times especially in the context of the brand's performance and money woes.

Now many of you must be wondering, UTL… what are you doing on UTL network? Well here is the simple answer. I am fiercely loyal to a fault so I stick with whatever it is I have invested in and hope and wait that it is worth it until all signs show that there is no hope of resuscitation. But this time my patience and resolve were tested and I finally snapped. Below is the conversation that transpired between the call center person and me.

Call center agent: ‘’Good morning, hello I am Sam calling from Uganda Telecom.’’

Me: ‘’Good morning, Sam what is this about?’’

Call center agent: ‘’I would like to ask you if you have re-registered your Sim card?’’

Me: ‘’No, I have not.’’

Call center agent: ‘’Well, you need to otherwise you will be disconnected from the network and not be able to make or receive any calls.’’

Me: ‘’Oh, s you have not disconnected me yet? I thought you had as I have not been able to make calls or send a message over the last 3 weeks. Anyway, what is this call about? ’’

Call center agent: ‘’Broken bone insurance. So all you have to do is opt in for the service by utilizing a minimum of 5,000 worth of airtime over a month to benefit from 200,000 worth of cover for an accident. ’’

Me: ‘’So, let me get this straight. You want me to use at least 5,000 worth of airtime to call/ SMS and then I qualify to get insurance. Now, this insurance is only valid when I break my leg?’’

Call center agent: ‘’Yes, that is correct.’’

Me: ‘’Are you serious?’’

Call center agent: ‘’Very madam. So if you are in an accident and break your leg you go to get a medical checkup and bring the paperwork to UTL service center and after 2 – 3 days of processing we pay the amount of bill up to 200,000Ugx.’’

Me: ‘’So, during the 2-3 days what am I supposed to be doing? Limping around in pain.’’

Call center agent: ‘’Uhh, no madam but we need to 3 days for processing the money.’’

Me: ‘’So if the broken bone shatters and punctures a major artery or vein, I wait for you to process the money, huh!’’

Call center agent: ‘’Madam that is the procedure.’’

Me: ‘’You must be crazy! Anyway, forget that it is not your fault.’’

Call center agent: ‘’So do I register you?’’

Me: ‘’No!’’

Call center agent: ‘’Then, can I check your history and sort out your issues with your line?’’

Me: ‘’No, do not do anything I am fine. Have a good day.’’

Call center agent: ‘’Madam…’’

I cut him short with another goodbye after all the network had been spamming my inbox for week’s every morning with this broken bone nonsense. Telecoms, you need to be in tune with your customers and be relevant not add to the additional noise we receive every day. So it was out with UTL and in with Airtel.