The backbiting Customer Care Agent

Dear telecom customer care providers do not assume that all your customers are complete idiots. When a customer calls you with a query I understand that you must receive many silly requests from naive and ill informed or under educated people on a daily basis. However, do not punish everyone else for their shortcomings. Here is one such dialogue that I had with an agent from one of the leading telecom companies in Uganda.

Customer Care Agent: “Hello this is .... Customer care, can I help you,” said the agent in a bored tone.

Me: “Hello I have a complaint.”

Customer Care Agent: “Yes.”

Me: “I loaded a bundle a few days ago but today the balance on my bundle went from 630 mb to 220 mb in 5 minutes.”

Customer Care Agent: “Are you sure you did not use the bundle.”

Me: “No I did not; I don’t think checking for date bundle status uses data does it?” I said sarcastically.

Customer Care Agent: “Okay, Is this number?”

Me: “Yes!”  I responded.

Customer Care Agent: “Let me check...” she said and responded after about a minute of holding the line, “Hello, you used the bundle.”

Me: “When was that?”

Customer Care Agent: “I am seeing here there is no problem with your account you used your bundle. I can even see an additional 500mb today.

Me: “Yes I activated a new bundle when I could not utilise the old one.”

Customer Care Agent: “Okay, but madam you used the bundle. I don’t know what page or site you opened but it took 400mb.”

Me: “400mb on one page.”

Customer Care Agent: “Yes.”

Me: “Are you aware that I could not use my data bundle from yesterday late evening from 8 pm to today 6 pm about 10 minutes ago because your network was undergoing technical difficulties.” I could not even find a signal or make any phone calls!”

Customer Care: “I don’t know about that but I know you used your bundle.”

Me: “So in other wards I am not getting a reimbursement for the bundle I lost.”

Customer Care: “But you used the bundle so how can I replace it when you used it,” she said.

Having wasted 30 minutes trying to get a hold of customer care and an additional 10 minutes on the line waiting for her to check and recheck my account with no positive feedback I decided I had better allocate my time to other more important things.

Me: “Alright I don’t want to waste time, thank you and good night.”

Customer Care Agent: “Thank you for calling ....  Telecom,” she responded but did not hang up I assume expecting me to hang up.

She then turned to a college and began to back bite me without hanging up the phone.

Customer Care Agent: “Eh also these people who don’t have money and want free airtime all the time, bankowa nyo.”

Me: “...” I decided not to even indulge her further and simply hung up to give her enough time to gossip with her colleague. So is this why we cannot get through to customer care most of the time and dear agent if you think your job is tiresome and such a bother why don’t you resign and leave it for someone else who is in dire need of employment and save our souls.

The roundabout menace.

On a sunny Tuesday afternoon, as I drove my sister around for hours we approached the industrial area roundabout which was thick with mid-morning traffic. As our car moved along at a snail pace all the way from electoral commission offices at the Jinja road traffic lights, there was little wiggle room on either side for even the most gifted boda boda rider and we all know there are quite a few in Kampala city.

As I sat in the driver’s seat and went around the roundabout, I got to the turn heading towards Nsambya and I was clearly in front of the pack when all of a sudden my sister who was seated in the co-driver’s seat and I heard a lady’s voice.

Lady driver: “Excuse me!” she said.

No response came from my sister because she did not think the lady driver next to us but a few inches behind was talking to her. In all honesty she could barely catch sight of her at the corner of her eye as the young lady driver attempted to cut in line from out of nowhere.

Lady driver: “Excuse me!” she said as she further lowered her window looking quick frazzled.

My sister: “Yes….” she responded still pretty confused and wondering what the lady would want to discuss in the middle of this downtown Kampala mayhem.

Lady driver: “Do you mind letting me go ahead of you?” she asked as she wore a straight face

My sister: “I beg your pardon,” said my sister to the lady driver.

Now at this point I began to smile, not because her request was comical in anyway but rather because I was mulling over whether I should give her a hard time or not. I must state for a fact that I am not one to exhibit road rage but at this point I thought for a second, she did not even say hello or how are you doing? It was straight to what she needs but as I silently pondered over this there was her voice going off again.

Me: “Excuse me, can I go before you, ….if you don’t mind,” she asked very impolitely a second time as she paused waiting our response.

Now we were backed up really tight in bumper to bumper jam at the turn off to Nsambya from the roundabout when she asked us this but the cars way ahead of us had started to move. My sister conveyed her request on to me and I loosed my seat belt and leaned forward to get a better look at her. No she was not old/ mature, she did not have a sick child in the back seat, she was not wearing spectacles and she did not have an ‘L’ for learner on any side of her motor vehicle.

My sister was as stunned which led her to ask me, “so does she think we also want to stay here at the roundabout in jam for the whole day?”

Me: “I have no idea what is going through her mind right now.”

My sister: “But Ugandan drivers can be so selfish on the road, why can’t she wait her turn?”

Me: “I have no idea.”

My sister: “Anyway, after all she asked and even though her request was rather rude let’s let her pass.”

Me: “Hhhhmm okay just this once.”

I swerved sideways leaving just enough room for her to get into the already tight queue as I smiled in her direction not from happiness but utter shock at how selfish she could be.

My sister: “So would you have let her go if I was not in the car with you?”

Me: “Definitely not,” I responded swiftly.

She burst out laughing at the top of her lungs so much so that the driver next to us peered through his window wondering what was so funny. I waved back at him as he continued to stare and I sped off. The moral of the story is men, do not allow your madam, sister, daughter to drive on Kampala roads if she is not up to the task. This city is a big bad place and not every driver will be this nice to her she can also be a menace to every other road user. Food for thought.

The well mannered Photographer

After a very entertaining tale on the photographer who was hungrier than the wedding guests, I thought it only prudent to share with you another experience. 

This is so as to give you a different experience which paired with your own will allow you to make a more balanced judgment of how to deal with your own service providers.

It was a bright but chilly morning of yet another wedding and this time was a little different because I was part of the bridal party; a role I had only played once before when I was 6 years old. So here we were the entire entourage all in one house (the hair and makeup lady’s home) with a great deal of activity going on. Half of us were getting our hair styled along with makeup while the rest were having breakfast and all this was taking place at the wee hours of the morning. Now since I was out of the rhythm of all this, it had slipped my mind that the photographers would be arriving about 30 minutes before we would be leaving  for the church service and low and behold they did. The assistant photographer walked into the dressing room while speaking on the phone in a very agitated tone that was only confirmed a few moments later after I had paid attention to the entire monologue.

Assistant Photographer: “Yes I am here,” he said convincingly to someone on the other end of the line.

I did not understand what was going on quite yet until I listened further to the conversation that ensued.

Assistant Photographer: “Kitufu I am here I can even see the mugole… Yes…. You want to talk to her?” He continued to convince the individual on the other side of the line that he was indeed where he claimed to be.

Bridal guide: “What is the matter sebo, I need to get the entire bridal party dressed.” This was since all our makeup had only been finished but at this point I finally added two and two together and it all made sense.

Me: “Hahaha that person on the other end of the phone wanted confirmation that the photographer had indeed arrived,” I explained to the bridal guide.

It was at this point just as I said those words that the assistant photographer walked right up to the bride and handed over the phone.

Bride: “Hello, good morning, yes he has arrived…..” she responded as she continued to giggle hysterically. “Ah okay bambi I hope they did not stress you but yes they have arrived.”

Lesson learnt: So the moral of the story is every bride needs someone like this to manage and crack the whip whenever there is a need to so that she can enjoy her day without any interruption.

A couple of photographs were taken of the bridal party without the bride but while the photographers waited for her to put on her veil.  I asked if they were okay and had found the place with no trouble.

Me: “I hope you are okay.”

Assistant Photographer: “Yes we are.” Now the main photographer was still on the phone and this is why his friendly assistant was answering all the questions.

Main Photographer: “ neda ajatusanga  ku kanisa,” he said and then paused while removing the phone from his ear. “No, we are hungry,” he said in response to my question.

Me: “Oh so sorry to hear that, so am I!” I responded as I had not yet eaten my breakfast but the defiance on his face when I gave him that answer made me smile from within.

Lesson 2: Be very clear, firm but polite with your service providers so that they after all they are not family and they also need to remember who is boss. This sets the tone for the rest of the entire day.

Most of the day went seamlessly with this service provider and by the time we got to garden photographs I had warmed up to them when I realized they were actually doing a good job. They also handled the children in the bridal party so I shared my pre packed afternoon snack which was also a sandwich with them. They were pleasantly surprised but only the assistant said thank you.

 I guess we all know whose mother taught him manners.

The photographer who was hungrier than our guests

I have been fortunate to have attended quite a few functions and wedding celebrations for close family members in a span of 3 months this year. From these events I have drawn invaluable experience on how to and how not to deal with service providers however, there is an area I would like to address and that is of photo and video coverage personal. 

Now for all of you who live in Uganda and have been fortunate to throw birthday parties or family events you know how difficult it is to handle service providers regardless as to how big or small the event is.

Recently at my cousins wedding, my sister and I were fortunate to serve as ushers and reception coordinators as we were fairly acquainted with both sides of the family. During this time I had the opportunity to interact with the days photographers who were from a hip and very popular company. Much to my surprise and disgust, they conducted themselves in a manner that left a lot to be desired and that is putting it mildly as you can read in the conversation that ensued at about dinner time.

Mature male Photographer: “Madam we have not eaten,” he said boldly as the bride and groom’s family members began to queue for food.

Me: “I beg your pardon!” I quickly said in response hoping that my ears were playing tricks on me and I had probably misheard them.

Younger male photographer: “We need food.”

Me:  “Really, speak to the lady over there in a polka dot dress she will assist you,” I politely said so that I could focus on getting the important family guests to their seats with refreshments as some were still arriving late due to the Friday night Kampala traffic.

I forgot about this little tiff and went back to my duties only for the mature gentleman to pull me aside 20 minutes while rubbing his stomach. I guess that was meant to be a signal of sorts.

Me: “Yes!”

Mature male Photographer: “Enjala!” he said with a straight face as the guests continued to the serving areas.

Me: “Sebo, how do I serve you before even half of my guests have even eaten?” I responded as politely as I could.

Mature male Photographer: “But I am also hungry,” he retorted.

Now, I need to give you a history on this particular service provider. The management of this service provider wanted 70% payment before even setting foot at the hair salon or church which meant that he came late for the service. By service time he had been fully paid but we on the other hand had not received the service we had been promised. In other wards the kasuze katya, salon and beginning of the church photographs had not been taken and they were also pretty late for the reception. Now here this mature gentleman was hounding me for food while none of his team was even taking photographs of my guests in queue and he still had the audacity to pull a fast one on me. 

A few moments later as I went to take the first batch of guest to the dessert table as this was a 3 course meal, I found this same photographer with a full plate of an assortment of dessert which included cake, pastries and fruit. I could not help thinking, by the time that you are late to a church service at 4 pm, squeeze me for the largest percentage you can get for payment and arrive late at the reception; the least you can do is eat before you come to work.

I decided not to put this service providers name as I actually went to school with this person but all I can say is the respect I once had for him is all but a memory and I will not be recommending him to anyone else. If you own a company that provides a service for any event train your staff on how to deal with customers at events and feed them before they get on site.

I cannot pay you for a service and then feed you at the event as well. Please try to be serious.

Stalemate between two 10 year olds.

I recently had the honor of taking charge of my nieces and nephew for a week. This involved dropping picking them up from school and doing homework on a regular basis. My 10 year old niece is Sidney, 6 year old niece named Joan and 3 year old nephew called Darrel.  It was an interesting experience mixed with its own challenges such as reviewing SST homework on Mt. Nur and pillars Islam to Lowest Common Multiples the famous LCM that we all once learnt as I earlier mentioned. However, there was this time while home with them after homework when their friends came over to play for an hour before dinner.

It was a typical evening of watching some cartoons as the socialized and I must admit I had zoned out to a classic episode of Tom & Jerry but for this conversation. Mable is my oldest niece Sidney’s playmate and classmates of Kampala Parents and both of them had midyear exams that day. Check out how children of these days dual over academics I do not remember it being this hairy in our day.

Mable: “How was the exam?” she asked mockingly.

Sidney: “It was simple,” she retorted as she shook her head and crossed her arms.

Mable: “What are you getting in Math?”

Sidney: “94% and above of course, let’s put money where our mouths are.”

Mable: “I am not scared.”

Sidney: “Of course you are.”

Mable: “I bet you 5 million,” she yelled as she stormed out of the house as if for better effect.”

Sidney: “Bring it on,” said my niece as she stomped her feet.

I could not help but laugh at how much things had changed since we were young. In our day and time we would be betting on our break money of 200 shillings or the 2 buttered slices of bread for break. Now here were these 10 year old's betting 5 million shilling which neither of them even had so I waited to see how this would pan out in the coming week. But I guess I gave these little ones too much credit because less than 2 minutes after this stance, Mable came back waltzing in with a chit in her hand as she stood at the door.

Mable: “Here is the 5 million, it’s on the table,” she said as she threw the irregularly cut piece of paper with 5 million written on it in blue pen ink.

Sidney: “This is not money, it is a piece of paper!” she shouted as she turned in the direction of doorway where Mable once stood only seconds before.

Only now she was half way home since she had taken off for s she was in no way going to honor the bet and Sidney hotly pursued her to no avail only to come back sulking. This scene reminded me of those mafia movies that had been adapted to suit these 10 year old's need. I figured it must be owing to the change in times or watching too much television DSTV - to be exact. 

Well whichever way you look at it, kids in this present day and age are growing up way too fast.

The woes of processing a Driving Permit in Uganda.

It is the norm in every country for the citizens to be expected to have official paper work for company registration, cross border travel and to also be able to operate a motor vehicle.  I am usually one to comply and make sure that I have all these documents in order but for one reason or the other I did not renew my driving permit when it expired after 3 years. 

This is greatly due to the fact that 3 months before its expiry it was stolen with all my documents in a mugging and the process of replacement was pretty tedious. I decided that the most important documents I needed for the time being were the ones I would replace right away such as ATM cards, work identification cards etc.

So my permit expired and I did not renew it for about 2 years and 2 months and when I finally got around to it I really expected the process to be painless since my details were already in the system. I picked up the paper work, got a police letter, advertised the lost permit in the new vision news paper, filled in the renewal paperwork, paid the necessary fees and proceeded to the URA office in Bwaise for processing. It took some time for the processing but I decided the weekend was not a long wait so when I went back the following week and the paperwork was approved with the URA sticker that possessed the bar code I assumed all was in order. On I went to Face Technologies Kyambogo and followed the queue all the way to the service area not expecting to have any issues.

Me: “Good afternoon.”

Face Technology Female Staffer: “Good afternoon, do you recall your previous driving permit number?”

Me: “I am afraid not this is a replacement from a theft.”

Face Technology Female Staffer: “Go back to the customer care counter and they will assist you. After which you will come back.”

Me: “Okay thank you.”

Now please understand this, I moved out of this service processing area to the customer care queue and was assisted with my previous permit number after I gave the lady my details for date of birth. She then sent me back to the processing area from which I had come. However, I did find a queue and did have to wait in line.

Face Technology Female Staffer: “Do you have the number?”

Me: “Yes I do, this is it.”

Face Technology Female Staffer:  “Okay, give me a minute.”

So after less than a minute of keying in my number she began to vigorously scribble on my paper work and handed it over.

Face Technology Female Staffer: “Go to customer care desk.”

I looked down at the cover sheet from my paper work only to see written in red “CANCELLED.”

Me: “What does this mean – CANCELLED?”

Face Technology Female Staffer: “Go to the customer care desk for more details, next!” she said without even butting an eyelid with a vacant look on her face as a robot would.

I walked back to the reception and found a different lady manning it.

Me: “Hello, I was sent to the reception for further clarification on this,” I said as I handed her my paper work.

Receptionist: “Oh yes, your permit is cancelled.”

Me: “Yes I can see that, but what does that mean. What is the implication of that?”

Receptionist: “You start afresh!”

Me: “Excuse me what does that mean, start afresh from which stage.”

Receptionist: “No it is like you have never had a permit before. So you have to get a learner permit, do the driving test and then reprocess the temporary permit.”

Me: “Why, when I am already in the system. Why did they cancel my permit in the first place? What about the fees I have already paid for replacement.”

Receptionist: “You know it is because you delayed to replace it.”

 Me: “So how long between date of expiry and replacement for it to be cancelled.”

Receptionist: “If you exceed 2 years, then it is cancelled no win your case if you had come 2 months back in May we would have processed a renewal.”

Me: “So when did this take effect? Did you inform the public of this change?”

Receptionist: “It is not us it is URA who instructed us to cancel the permits after 2 years. This is the new system. I do not know if they did but it was changed recently.”

Me: “So I begin the process like a learner – is that even fair.”

Receptionist: “No it is not but that is the system.”

Me: “Okay thank you,” Is all I said as I walked away stunned at the time, effort and hoped not also money I had wasted.

I decided to visit the URA office in Bwaise to attempt to get a refund so that I could contemplate restarting the tedious process; only to be told that since it was coming to the end of their financial year in June it may be extremely unlikely I would receive the refund. I did due diligence and went to the relevant offices and got bounced from one desk to another and they all agreed that the payments were captured and my receipts were in order but I never did receive my refund. However through this messy process, I was fortunate to find out that the fees were going to be revised and increased by the end of the financial year as well so I begrudgingly took advantage of this information and quickly redid the entire process. I picked up my permit this week but all I wondered as I held it in my hand is whether this process should be this difficult in the first place. In Rwanda, if you have all the necessary documents in order an individual can register a company in one day.

So when someone is pulled over for not having a driving permit I completely understand because the system is broken and I do not think anyone is even trying to fix it. Only in Uganda. queue

The peril of Wedding dress shopping in Kampala

One sunny Saturday after inquiring around for the best place to shop for wedding dresses, we headed out to 3 places in total but only 2 are worth writing home about.

12:10 Option 1 – The wild card

Much to my surprise one evening on my way home, I saw a man putting up sign posts with ‘Happily Ever After’ pointing to a residence nearby so I decided to make an appointment. 

I recommended it to the bride having following them on Facebook for over a year. I was only hoping that the photographs matched what we would find at the store. On this particular Saturday we quite easily found the place and enjoyed the warm welcome and homey atmosphere that their new space provided.

Store Attendant: “Hello, please come in and have a seat.”

Me: “Hello, I made an appointment about 2 days ago, my sister is looking for a gown for her wedding. Here she is.”

My sister - Bride: “Hello, I like your décor. So are there any fees for the appointment.”

Me: “Thank you and yes, it is 20,000 for 4 dresses.”

I was going over the album pictures and matching them with the accessories when I heard her say 20,000 for trial and I looked up in shock as a deer in head lights. I was not aware that there was a fee for trying on wedding dresses it reminded me of the consultation fee that you pay to a doctor before he even knows about your condition.

Family friend: “Okay and what if we do not find a dress after trying on the first 4?”

My sister – Bride: “Do you give discounts.”

Store attendant: “Yes we do and you will only pay the fee we agree on once until we find you a dress for your day.”

The haggling over a discount ensued until we got a deal for 15,000 for trial of 4 and not 3 wedding gowns. After about 35 minutes we had tried on all 4 gorgeous gowns and my sister fell in love with just one. However, she decided not to commit to purchasing it until we had visited one of the bigger bridal stores that had been recommended which boasted of over 100 plus dresses.

12:50pm

After this appointment we left with a clear direction of what style suited her body type and we felt well equipped to take on the next appointment.

1:15pm Option 2 – The sure deal or so we thought

Sister’s bridal along Kampala road on Park Royal building was our next stop as the bride had seen quite a few adverts of their store in the bride and groom magazines and the bridal expo. So we visited them hoping that maybe number 2 would be a sure thing after the great start we had at ‘Happily Ever After’ but we were greatly surprised and disappointed. As we walked into the store we were asked to take off our shoes at the entrance so that we did not make the carpet dirty as in turn, this would make the dresses dirty as the brides tried them on. I did not see anything wrong with this so we obliged and headed in.

Gentleman at reception: “Hello, please come in. Are you looking for dresses?”

My sister - Bride: “Yes we are, I made an appointment earlier in the week for today.”

Gentleman at reception: “Okay….,” he responded. As he looked around the store and wandered off with no warning leaving us in the reception area for 3 or 4 minutes.

“Now, this lady will assist you with your appointment for the day.”

Attendant: “You wait, I am coming.”

Family friend: “Can we have seats as we wait for her?”

Gentleman at reception: “Yes! Follow me,” he said as he escorted us into the main show area that had rows and rows of dresses on racks along the walls.

He managed to get us 3 seats as we waited patiently as he paced from side to side searching for other store attendants as more and more brides continued to walk in. The store was like a mad house with brides trying on dresses in different corners of the room in plain sight. This is due to the fact that all the changing rooms were full. The bridal entourages everywhere with some waiting in corridors, attendants running up and down past us looking for dresses.

1:40pm

2 other members of our entourage (my sisters) arrived only to find us waiting for nearly 30 minutes for our attendant to assist us. The bride told her (our attendant) exactly what she was looking for and she was whisked off – to a corner. Yes I did mean a corner and not a changing room.

My sister – Bride: “So what is the fee for trying on dresses?”

Attendant: “20,000 for any 4 dresses that you try on.”

My sister – Bride: “And what happens if I need to try on a few more dresses – say 2 more.”

Attendant: “You pay an additional 20,000.”

The gentleman from the reception would randomly walk into the main show room past us looking for attendants as the brides were getting dressed – this was of course until my other sister told him off but it was so outrageous.

1:55pm

Older sister: “Hey there is a bride trying on a dress I do not think you can cross over there now.”

Gentleman from reception: “Okay.”

Older sister 2: “But these people, there is no sense of privacy at all.”

After putting the bride in 2 old dress I had personally had enough and walked off from where she was changing and sat down beside our party. On dress 3 I walked up to her and did a walk around the dress only to find the thigh area on one side visibly ripped. It was too much for me at that point, I informed the bride and she took a look and after a few minutes of showing the bridal party she changed into her last dress.

2:15pm

Older sister: “But this dress is worse than the one before.”

Me: “Yup it is actually ripped and fraying at the bust line.”

Older sister: “But aren't there any nice newer dresses, why does she keep putting you in old, ugly dresses.”

Attendant: “We will find her a dress even if it takes 4 hours, we have just started. She cannot fail to get one with all these dresses.

4 Hours! I thought to myself, but I guess my sister’s sentiments did the trick and the attendant came back with 2 newer gowns for my sister to choose from for her final trial. But before she could get all the way to my sister in her changing area or rather changing corridor, she was interrupted.

2:40pm

Other Attendant: “Nyabo, where did you find those dresses.”

Attendant: “At the back of the reception area closet alone.”

Other attendant: “And didn’t you wonder why it was alone – that one is for my customer for the wedding which is 2 weeks away. You show her the other one,” she said as she grabbed one of the dresses from our attendants hands evidently annoyed.

This left only 1 option before she would be asked for another 20,000 for the next batch of trials.

Attendant: “Okay you try this one.”

Older sister 2: “This is much better so why were they showing us old dresses.”

My sister – Bride: “How much will this gown cost for hiring?”

Attendant: “It will cost 1, 200,000 UGX.”

My sister – Bride: “So I am the first wearer right?”

Attendant: “No someone has booked it for a wedding in 3 weeks.”

My sister – Bride: “And how much are they paying?”

Attendant: “1,300,000 UGX.”

My sister – Bride: “But that does not make sense.”

2:55 pm

The ambiance aside, the dresses in the show room were smelly, filthy, poorly kept, some if not most in terrible condition and the manner in which the brides were treated was as if they were dollar signs and not human beings. This was not an experience I would recommend for any future brides – the manner in which this business is so commercialized and yet it requires much attention and care for the customer. Such a stark contrast to the one on one attention we received from Happily Ever After Bridal Store. After this account, I need not tell you where we got the brides gown from.