Children say the oddest things

Esella country hotel is located somewhere in Namugongo Kira off Mbogo road and it is here that my sisters and I took my nieces and nephews to enjoy swimming by their pool side. I expected this to be a typical swimming date with my sisters but nothing could have prepared me for the hilarious conversations that were exchanged between them. 

It reminded me of my own time as a child, of the joys of having no responsibility and being with family enjoying every excuse to celebrate a birthday, wedding, festive season and the list goes on and on. However not to digress, we got to the hotel at about 2:40pm and went straight to the reception to pay for the swimming session and to also inquire how busy the pool was.

My Sister: ‘Hello, we would like to pay for swimming. How busy is the pool?’

Receptionist: ‘Ahh...Not too busy.’

My Sister: ‘Are you sure?’

Receptionist: ‘Yes I am.’

With this confirmation, after tucking away our receipt we rushed off to the pool only to find 25 children already in it enjoying themselves. 

As my nephews and nieces changed into swim wear we got an opportunity to observe the mayhem. I thought to myself, if not busy is 25 children running around, splashing water out of the pool, diving in it from multiple points, then what does busy look like?

Given that we had already established rapport with the swimming instructor from earlier lessons we decided to stay and let the children have fun since there was no way they were going to have a structured lesson that day. Irrespective of this drama, by 5:30pm the pool only had 4 people in it 1 being an adult who barely did any swimming. The children who had thoroughly enjoyed themselves were now tired and in dire need of food which we ordered as we waited for them to shower and change.

The entire time the waiter gave us attitude and to add to that he made an error on our large order for 9 so he had to take one plate of food back which we reckon got him a scolding from the chef. We could tell this by the sluggishness and indifference he had from that time when it came to taking our orders that aside, nothing had prepared me for the conversation that my nieces engaged in while we ate.

Just to give you some background, my niece Bella is 7 years old and has a bubbly and outgoing personality while her sister Mary is 11 and is an introvert (she is quite the novel reader). Bella interrupts the adults’ conversation with an outburst.

Bella: ‘Eh my throat is hurting mummy.’

Mother: ‘Hurting….,where.’     

                                                 

Bella: Here, no here,’ she said as she quickly pointed at her gullet.

Now seeming concerned with her daughters persistence, my sister began to examine her throat only for Bella to remove her hand and respond.

Bella: ‘eh… when is the food coming, my throat is hurting?

Mother: ‘let us be patient,’ responded her mother as she grinned once she finally realized that the pain in her daughter’s throat stemmed from her hunger.

Now the waiter I mentioned earlier, had informed us that our orders would take 20 minutes but we waited 40 minutes instead which was why Bella was so hungry that her mother had no choice but to distract her.

Mother: ‘ahh but Bella, alright go watch your brother maybe your throat will stop hurting.'

But Bella was not having any of that and amply responded with a rebuttal.

Bella: ‘somebody has spoilt the air."

Mother: ‘How?’

Bella: ‘bad air.’ (By this Bella meant, someone had passed air - farted)

Mary: ‘hahaha’

Bella: ‘I cannot stop talking.’

Mary: ‘Chatter box.’

Bella: ‘senior chatterbox.’

Mother: ‘Hey, let’s eat,’ she yelled to get these 2 sisters to let go of the bickering since the food had finally arrived.

15 minutes later.  

                                                        Bella: ‘Am full, take this food away.’

Mother: ‘Bella, you are eating like you are storing food for another day. Ehh’

Mary: ‘Are you going for the hunger games.’ (The entire table burst into laughter)

I was amazed and somewhat proud at the well selected and served rebuttal from my niece who is clearly a lover of all things literature. 

The rest of the adults at the table could not believe the madness unfolding between the children as we remembered how young and innocent they once were while reminiscing on our own childhoods. I enjoyed myself so much that when the bill finally arrived, even though it was wrong, nothing could wipe the smiles off our faces. 

We asked the evidently annoyed waiter to revise our bill without the double billing for the swimming and headed home smiling after payment.

Tips for Esella Country Hotel

Swimming: do not go on the weekend and especially when the school term is in recess. If you have flexible work schedule it is best to go in the afternoon during the week or make a reservation for an appropriate time.

Food: is on the pricy side for the usual dishes where a plate of fries goes for 10,000 and fries with chicken 20,000

The toilet floor was wet and dirty the time I was there especially given the number of children swimming that day. 

Comic moments from my Uganda Funeral experiences

Everyone who lives in Uganda, knows that there are two times when you get to see long lost relatives you never visit or interact with on a daily basis except for the odd wedding and funeral. In my case, I have been unfortunate to attend between 6 - 8 funerals upcountry and I am only shy of 30. That aside it only occurred to me that not once have I given an account of the humorous side to this very somber and wretched time in everyone’s life.

In my youth, I paid little attention to these brief sparks of comic relief provided; because I was often overwhelmed with grief or too emotionally immature to comprehend the paradox in understanding that you can afford to smile during a comical outburst and still be sad during this grieving process. I was recently part of a committee that assisted to organize for the funeral of a friend and never did I expect that during this stressful and often depressing process, would it be punctuated with such comic relief from the church clergy of all people.

The funeral sermon was on the passage ‘there is a time for everything,’ which the clergy woman focused on intently but it got quite intriguing towards the end. I listened to it nonchalantly until I heard this statement from her.

Clergy woman: ‘There is a time for everything, to the widow this is the time to grieve. Please family members when you see her crying during this process let her grieve, do not tell her to guma (absorb/ harden).’  ‘Yes, it is like the men who are 40 years old and do not have children or are not yet married…’

Audience: ‘Hhmm,’ as grumbling ensued.

I quickly noticed the unwed men in the audience who were about that age, grumble and snicker with each other as the clergy woman continued to intensify on her message.

Clergy woman: ‘Do you plan on raising your children when you are 60 years old, or starting to build your family house at that time when you are old and toothless, when you do not even have energy to run around?’

If you thought that was intriguing, then nothing could beat the priest we found when we travelled upcountry to Butaleja to lay our dear friend to rest at his ancestral home. We never expected to listen to such a radical and candid clergy man. In an unusual scenario of events, the same priest was in charge of running the day’s program which I did not expect to be anything to write home about until we got to the middle of the program just before the service.

Priest: ‘You people, especially the politicians who I gave the opportunity to speak early on at the beginning of the program and refused or arrived late… I will not give you an opportunity to speak at all.’

Audience:  ‘Bagambe!’ (Tell them!) Someone in the audience yelled as the rest of us burst into laughter thinking this was the end of it but the man of God soldiered on.

Priest: ‘Why do you come to us only when it is election time? After elections you do not do anything during your term and then come back to us again. You waited until there were many people gathered and then you requested to speak? I do not care who you are but if you wanted to speak, you will have to pay 10,000 Ugx.’

‘Yes you will have to buy time!’ he yelled.

He continued with the program, only for 20 to 30 minutes later for a representative for the woman area Member of Parliament to approach the clergy man with the 10,000 Ugx shilling to buy time.

The actions of this representative angered the clergy man even more than before as he was not interested in the money being paid for the politician to speak, but rather the principle. Given the fact that they were not quick to pick up on this, they had sealed their fate and had made a wasted trip to the funeral for were not given a chance to speak to the audience. I was so impressed by this Anglican clergy man that when it came time for the sermon, I was all ears and he did not disappoint.

His sermon was on self-control and responsible living which I feel suited the tone of this funeral, however midway through his sermon; he pushed the envelope even further when he made these remarks to the audience.

Priest: ‘Why do you only call us when your people are dead? Why don’t you also call us when they are alive to celebrate good times?

To say this gentlemen was the highlight of my trip, aside from the road that crossed the bridge in Butaleja is an understatement.

(Photos courtesy of  Paul Mwirigi and myself)

The Corporate job broker

As my week came to an end last Friday afternoon, I made my way to Ssebankyayis one of my favourite local food restaurants in Wandegeya for a late lunch. I was fortunate to sit down next to 2 middle aged gentlemen who were engaged in an amicable conversation as they ate their lunch. I chose to use the word fortunate given the tone of the conversation from these 2 gentlemen.

Gent 1: “Hello, yes sebo. (Hello, yes sir)

Get me 5 more containers of the big size like the other one I ordered for my shipment from Dubai. Do not worry about the payment, my client is a very wealthy Mukiga. He has the money to pay.” he said as he hung up his mobile.

Gent 2: “Eh so I can see business is good.”

Gent 1: “Yes, it is not bad. Haha bwentyo naye how are things?” (Haha so it is but how are things)

Gent 2: “Ahh am waiting to hear from the other guy I told you about.”

Gent 1: “Which one?”

Gent 2: “Oli guy owa Movit deal.” (The other guy of the Movit deal)

Gent 1: “Ohh so he is sorting out your job issue?”

Gent 2: “Yes, oli guy oba he has inside information! Whenever he applies for a job or tells you to apply, the person gets it as long as you follow his instructions and he gets his dimes.” (Dimes - money)

Gent 1: “Eh, so what position is he getting for you?”

Gent 2: “Regional Manager for Movit.”

Gent 1: “Ehh now, how much is that going to cost you,… Zibera meka?” he asked as soup slipped down the edge of his mouth and he briskly wiped up. (How much does it cost?)

Gent 2: “5 million.”

Gent 1: “Eh, kale naye you will make that back mangu. If he is a sure deal why not.” (Eh, okay but you will make that back quickly)

As I listened to this I was amused right until the 5 million Ugx was mentioned. What made me pay attention was the manner in which such a sum was casually thrown around in this conversation. But that aside the gist of it all is that the nature of our corporate work scene requires the job seeker to either have inside information or leverage for employment to be secured. 

What happened to your eligibility being gauged using your track record or having an outstanding resume. If things are this bad what are we doing to the next generation’s workforce, how will they perform, just think of the problems we are creating at every level.

While I pondered on these things, the 2 gentlemen decided they had had enough of their luwombo and abruptly got up and stormed off as they picked their teeth in a great deal of merriment. Oh Uganda!

Wedding Meeting Humor

Recently one of my closest friends from my university days was getting married and held wedding meetings. In spite of my busy schedule, I was fortunate enough to be a part of his second last meeting and much to my surprise, I did not feel coerced to give all the money in my wallet and walk home as is the norm. The general ambiance at the meeting was of warmth and humor with many of his friends cracking us up for most of the time we there. I expected nothing less as the groom is quite the comedian himself. However in this case he was a lot quieter than usual, I wondered whether the pre - wedding jitters had gotten a hold of him but the humor was too intoxicating for me to pay him much attention while at the meeting.

There was this fellow seated at the back and you would expect a back bencher (as they are commonly called) to typically be quiet and steer clear of attracting any attention to themselves. Much to the contrary, this lad was rambunctious and suave and you could tell he enjoyed being the life of the party. Mid way the meeting as we were collecting money to reduce the balance owed on the church fees for the service on the wedding, we were left with raising 250,000 when this fellow asked.

Ruckus Lad: “Let's ask the pastors son to mediate on our behalf so that we get a discount.”

He said this because of the young gentleman seated in front of him; who I quickly found out was the pastor’s son – the pastor who was going to wed the bride and groom.

We all burst out laughing but in my case it was because I found it refreshing that church folk were so lively and un - uptight as is the usual rhetoric when it comes to them. If you are wondering why I classed the wedding meeting members as church folk, it is because ¾ of them were the groom and bride’s church friends and they are a tight knit bunch.

Before we could fully recover, words shot out of the fellow’s mouth again and I thought to myself, how can anyone be this funny for free (after all comedy is a respectable profession in this day and age).

Ruckus Lad: “Can we get a discount if we ask them to switch off the lights in church?”
“Switch off the lights? How will we see the bride in her beautiful gown?” a lady promptly responded to which he had a rebuttal.

Ruckus Lad: “Bride, (he paused briefly before continuing) …and what about William, we may only be able to see his teeth.”

We were amused but for many of you reading this who have not met William, you would not really understand this joke. William is a 6 foot, dark chocolate brown Ateso (Eastern Uganda tribe) man with exceptionally white teeth so the ruckus fellow may have also meant this as a compliment.

After this 15 minutes unsolicited comedy break, the chairman finally took the reins back and continued with the next item on the budget.  We made good progress for 30 minutes or so only that it was now dark and a frog hoping in between the chairs where we sat almost brought the meeting to a halt. The ladies began to squirm in their seats and the chairman trying to get back our attention said,

Chairman: “If I see anyone jump out if their seat as a result of the frog hoping around you will be fined.” To which the audience giggled but only for a second when one lady could not contain it anymore and screamed as she jumped out of her seat and the ruckus lad responded,

“Yesu!” as he mimicked her. We laughed so hard that the chairman took 5 minutes to get us all settled down before he could continue.

As we drew to the end of the budget, the in house comedian realized that we had become too serious and moved closer to the font and offered to assist in auctioning the gift for the day. In the middle of giving a description of the articles contained in the wrapped gift, he caught sight of a late comer. She was hiding behind a shrub attempting to creep in without being noticed so she would not be fined. The fellow did a complete 360 turn and kept quiet drawing all out attention after which he briskly yelled.

Ruckus Lad: “2,000 Ugx for the audience member to remove her scarf from her hair.”

Someone responded, “There is no one wearing a scarf.”

Ruckus Lad: “Are you sure, you have not yet seen her hiding like a chameleon in the shrub behind?”

The scarf was deemed an article of witchcraft and she was fined for wearing it, not to worry though as someone else took matters into their own hands, took him on and offered to pay her fine.

That evening I had come from work very tired and exhausted but left this wedding meeting very rested and rejuvenated and extremely sad that I had to go home before it had come to a close. As I walked out, I left the chairman in trouble as the audience purchased his tie and then followed on to solicit for his belt which he declined to release.

Let’s just say that this will be one of my fondest memories of his wedding.

Music Industry Consortium Conference 2015 at Hotel Africana

Last month on 19^th May, I was privileged to attend the MIC 2015 at Hotel Africana which was organized by Bankable society in proud association with Yamaha, Ministry of Gender, Labor and social development, URA and NSSF. 

The conference began at 09:00am with a breakfast session where we had the opportunity to mingle with everyone else. I noticed that the musicians, music promoters stuck to their crowd as was the case with the digital media fraternity (bloggers, social media).

The morning session was a great deal of presentation from Richard Kawesa of Bankable society and Isaac Rucci on technical aspects of what why and how the association was to be formed and run. The Music Industry Consortium (MIC) is a private-sector led initiative that works with the Creative fraternity, the global business community and Government as its lead partners. MIC exists to facilitate the profitability of music business.

The chairman of music association in Uganda, highlighted that last year alone, the music industry generated 3billion UGX from electronic revenue but only 1.5 m UGX was collected which is an utter loss to the artists who earn a livelihood from their craft.

Sadly, the majority of the artists did not pay much attention to this session until we arrived at the selection of the executive which would handle the day to day execution of activities on the Music Industry Advisory Board under the MIC. 

The likes of the Eagles production lead songstress started off on her own conversation while Moze Radio finally stormed out with his 4 man entourage 40 minutes into the deliberations only to be found hanging out on the roof top at lunch time. Most of the music heavyweights did not turn up however much to my surprise, Bobi Wine graced the occasion and gave it the utmost attention for the entire morning session while he was there. So much so that he made each member of his entourage of 6 take note and share with him what they had personally learnt from it.

In the first 10-year-phase of MIC operations, M.I.A.B (Music Industry Advisory Board) will focus on finding solutions to the question of music profitability. These solutions will be guided by the resolutions that emerge from the annual Music Industry Conferences.

The theme of the conference was “the social, economic and political impact of music,” and the key note speakers were Doris Akol - Commissioner General URA, Richard Byarugaba – MD NSSF and Adenrele Niyi Project director AFRIMA (All Africa Music Awards).

In the afternoon, Commissioner General Ms. Akol presented a paper on the economic potential of the music industry in Uganda and there was an interactive session which followed as well as the rest of the speakers.

This in my opinion was the most telling session what the musicians’ take away really was, while a few of the attentive music artists asked questions, not everyone in attendance gave constructive input. A female veteran musician attempted to create controversy over who would manage the board and why they could not continue with the old and dormant association.

Isaac Rucci and Richard Kawesa addressed her concerns but this reminded me of why Uganda as a whole is not moving forward as briskly as it should in terms of development. The music fraternity is a wonderful example of where the problem is, much as there is a cross section of promoters and musicians who understand what needs to be done to move forward there is an equal number of the negative complainers who detest anything new whether it adds value to them or not.

A few of the questions asked by the musicians and music promoters can be seen below.

1.        Why do we pay tax for concert venue, promotional banners in the city and then on clearing our goods at customs (C.D’s, Cars)? Isn’t that over taxation?

2.       How are we supposed to make money and yet we are taxed from every side?

3.       How is the government protecting our income and source of livelihood using the copy write?

4.      How is electronic revenue going to be managed?

5.       Why doesn’t URA explain these costs to us in a session?

The questions listed above are just a limited spectrum of what was asked but the most beneficial feedback in my point of view came from Balam of Balam entertainment. 

After he extensively explaining issues to do with VAT monthly remittances, payment of annual tax returns to his fellow music promoters, musicians and bands present, he asked the URA and KCCA to generate a standard fee for concert venues. 


He highlighted the fact that musicians want to pay tax but they clearly need to be explained to about the taxes that directly affect them.

It was an eye opening session for many when NSSF MD followed informing the audience of opportunities for them to save as individuals for better financial management for their retirement. A few individuals had a follow session with him at the close of the event where they discussed the finer details of the saving plans. The moral of the story is we need to stop making excuses and start to sort out the issues to do with our music industry now so that we can reap the benefits of our hard work. Sadly, the heavyweights did not turn up to this event and when legislation is passed on taxation of musicians after this session where views were collected, they will complain they were not informed.

#SolomeMay1st Committee Luncheon Banter

May has been an extremely busy month with a great deal of good stuff going on, for instance one notable event was the Solome May 1^st concert that was completely sold out. 

It was such a pleasure being a part of the behind the scenes team that came together to make it happen, so that all the 750 guests who made it to the show at Golf Course hotel had a great time.

The most interesting aspect about this team was that it was non conventional, with each member being added due to their expertise and not whether they knew each other.

I must say it was an interesting 3 and a half month ride in preparation for the May 1^st concert and it is hard to think that complete strangers would turn out to be such a great team. 

These are the thoughts that run through my mind as I sat at a table of 20 people at the Kampala Serena Hotel last Sunday and watched the committee/ production team enjoy a sumptuous meal together as stories were shared and bonds forged.

The hilarious chit chat by the bachelors in between the re-pilling of their lunch plates with tidbits from the buffet style spread provided by the Kampala Serene hotel, was unexpected but very welcome. And as the meal progressed from starters’, mid-main the course as the 2 interesting young lads who were part of the team decided to partake of a glass of Champagne each. 

This was when the chairman decided to take a jab at these lads since they had grown increasingly jovial and vocal after nearly finishing their drinks.

Committee Chairman: Hello, sebo you might need a speed governor with that Champagne.”

Sound man: “No it is under control,” he responded with a grin on his face.

Committee Chairman: “Eh are you sure, so how are getting home, who is driving?”

We all paused as we watched the chairman who sat in the middle of the table, waiting for a response from these 2 young men who sat across from him since he now had our attention.

Sound man: “The boda man!” he responded.

With this response, half the table of 20 plus people burst into laughter some managing their excitement in order not to choke on the pieces of food that were already in their mouths for fear of having them lodged in their wind pipes.

Committee Chairman: “Alright Paul and Silas,” he called out to the 2 young lads as new nick names as I steadied myself and recovered from this joke, only for the gentleman sitting across from me to return to his seat.

Me: “Wow, I can see the soup you went back for…..”

Production Crew Lad: “Yes, of course but then I had to come back with some chapatti as well.”

Me: “Uhh hmmm!”

Production Crew Lad: “You know they look quite many since they are all stacked up on one side but these are only 2 chapattis.”

Me: “Of course,” I said in response as a brief smirk flashed across my face.”

I thought back to my recent visit to Busoga where I did not have an opportunity to sample chapattis which the region is well known for.

Me: “So why do you love chapatti so much, is it a favorite?”

Production Crew Lad: “Yes it is, have you tasted it?”

Me: “Yes.”

Make up Lady: “So what happens when you cannot find any, do you know how to make it?”

Production Crew Lad: “Of course.”

I was a little surprised with this response because men do not usually learn how to cook their favorite dish but as I was mentally processing this the conversation kept going.

Make up Lay: “So madam will have to know how to make them.”

Me: “Yes, is it a do or die situation.”

Production Crew Lad: “Yes, it is the deal breaker.”

As my mind briefly wondered off yet again, we delved into the desert which everyone stacked on their side plates until they was no more room left. The bachelors were bold enough to return to the buffet table for seconds as they took a fancy to the marshmallows which they dipped in the chocolate fountain. 

 
Cream Brulee Desert- Kampala Serene Hotel

By the time we were done, “Paul” and “Silas” (the butt of every joke from the chairman) were laughing at the top of their lungs high on too much sugar and Champagne.

This experience taught me that there is so much that you can learn from people when food is in the equation it really loosens them up and allows you to see a different side to them - especially men.

My experience registering for Uganda National I.D

2 weeks ago, I made my way to St. Mbagga Tuzinde church my polling center for elections which is located in Kiwatule a residential suburb on the outskirts of Kampala city. Given my hectic work schedule and the long queues, I had not been able to register myself for my national I.D for both the first and second sessions. I got to the church at 9.45 am ready to wait for a maximum of 2 hours to get this sorted out finally so that I could head to work in the afternoon.

I was greeted with stares as I walked into the children’s church and I sat down at the end of the snake-like line near the door before I asked my neighbor for assistance.

Me: “Good morning, is this the line for registration for the national I.D?”

Lady: “Good morning, no this is the line for pick up. Go to the other line.”

I thanked her before I got up and went to the back of another even longer line and took a seat. After about 30 minutes of no movement and dead silence so I inquired from my new neighbor what was going on.

Me: “Is there National I.D registration going on today?”

Neighbor: “Yes, this is the line.”

Me: “So why isn’t anyone moving?”

Neighbor: “I don’t know because it has been this way from 8.40 am when I arrived.”

I sat quietly for a while and watched the gentleman who was supposed to be registering us pace back and forth, go outside and then come back inside taking one call after another. Then he walked out and did not come back until an hour later. In the meantime, the gentleman issuing I.D’s from earlier registration processes’ and his supervisor realized that there was no activity and people were grumbling so they came to take a look. 

On a brief examination of the scanner, I realized that this was the reason why the registrar had left, the scanner was not working. They tried replacing the old scanner with one from the issuing I.D section and it worked however, the gentleman needed to use his scanner as well for verification.

10:30 am

The registrar finally returned almost an hour later with a new printer and this is all he had to say,

Registrar: “This machine has died.”

Me: “What does he mean, the machine has died?”

Registrar: “You know these machines, they are old. These government people bought old ones.”

When he said this I finally pieced it all together, he had gone off to get a new scanner since this old one was not working. All I wondered was why the supervisor or he himself had not informed us. It took him 20 minutes to hook up the machine and get the system working again but by this time over half of the 100 people waiting I line had left for work, home or to do more pressing things.

I waited another 20 minutes before our queue began moving and as people continued to trickle in they began to cut into the line. So with much irritation, I informed the people in front of me to move forward so that the line could keep moving only to hear the registrar say,

“Abakazi mugenda mu naze engalo, nanti mu tadde buzigo mu ngalo.”

I thought to myself, so this man thinks that everyone here understands Luganda huh and why isn’t he audible enough given the number of people waiting in line. Thanks to his chatty character, he did indeed repeat himself.

Registrar: “Women, if you know you put Vaseline on your hands in the morning, go and wash them. If you get here and the system can’t see your finger prints I will send you to the back of the line.”

I smiled and wondered how this system has eyes everywhere like Jack Bauer who can see you even through a closed Mahogany door. Anyway, the registrar worked on about 15 people between 10.40 am – 3.00 pm before the all-seeing system went haywire once more. But keep in mind that the 15 people he worked on were those that he registered in his book the previous day, now no one had informed us of this protocol. We sat for another hour waiting for it to come back on line so that our full day of sacrifice to register would not have been in vain.

3:15 pm

Registrar: “Now, you see old machines. The system has gone off again, you see what happens when you buy old things? ”

However, we were fortunate that this hiccup was the final straw for many who burst out of the church in protest and headed home as he continued to encourage them to leave.

Registrar: “The machine has died again, if you feel you do not have time you can go home and come back tomorrow.”

When about 30 people left he collected our forms and reviewed them to make sure we had filled in all the relevant information as he waited for the system to get back on line and by now due to perseverance and no bathroom breaks I was now in position 8 in the queue. I was so happy I did not have breakfast that morning otherwise,….that’s a story for another day.

4:00 pm

The system came back on line but in the midst of waiting, 1 young lady came and sat down next to me even though the forms had already been collected and our names had been registered in the book that had now become a holy grail of sorts. When the registrar saw that the young lady did not leave even when everyone else did, he said,

Registrar: “For those of you who have just come, I suggest you come back tomorrow. I will not be able to work on you. If I have not collected your form go home.”

We all giggled because we knew exactly who he was talking about but the lady did not budge and actually pulled out a novel to read as she waited. At about 4.45 pm, the gentleman from the issuing section realized that her form had not been collected and yet she seemed to be a familiar face.

I.D Issuing Officer: “Madam, were you here yesterday?”

Young lady: “Yes, and you made me not register. The system was down and you told us to leave so when it came back on line 10 minutes after I left, a few people were registered.”

I.D Issuing Officer: “Oh sorry,” he said and he took her form and placed it on the registrar’s table as he whispered in his ear.

Next thing we knew, after number 4 was worked on she was being called to register in the book and was immediately processed. The 16 of us who were waiting were uncomfortable about this but nothing prepared me for this.  Her fingers prints were not reflected on the system and even though the registrar had just sent away a gentleman to the back of the line for not knowing his village and his fingers prints not being reflected, he wiped the scanner for her. The lady next to me went into a rage.

New Neighbor: “So you sent away the other gentleman, but you are wiping for her the machine. Hhhhmm why don’t you remain consistent – send her to wash her hands like you sent all the women here. Afterwards, let her also go to the back of the line.”

Registrar: “I am trying to show mercy but because you are making so much noise I will not work on you today.”

We all laughed and audibly grumbled but only 10 minutes later the registrar called her name and handed her form over and she left without being registered. I eventually got registered at 5:45 pm, 8 hours later after wasting a full work day. That was my experience registering for my national I.D, now let’s hope I actually get it.