Friday, 22 July 2016

Village Stalker

My usually uneventful life was recently interrupted by some village romance but I do not want to give away my full story in the first line. Read on and enjoy.

Early one Sunday morning on my way to work I run into my neighbour’s house caretaker who is a talkative but pleasant Muganda man. Since I had not seen him in about 2 months and I recalled he had gone for an operation, I decided to stop, roll down the window and say hello. We got embroiled in a conversation that went on for over 10 minutes as I learnt that he was indeed feeling much better than when last I saw him. 

As we had our little catch-up session a young man who could be in his mid-twenties passed by us and said hello. The only issue was that he stopped ahead of us and did not leave so when I finished with my cheerful neighbour as I started to drive off, he walked towards me and asked for a lift to town. Ordinarily, I do not give lifts to strangers, however, knowing how dusty the area where I live is during the dry season, I decided to make an exception and honour his request.

Magadu: ‘’Thank you for accepting to give me a lift to town.’’

Me: ‘’Not town just the main road,’’ I responded since I did not plan on being in a vehicle with a complete stranger for more than 5 minutes.

Magadu: ‘’I am Magadu I live right opposite your house but was looking for a boda to get to the main road.’’

Me: ‘’Okay.’’

Magadu: ‘’Are you going to church?’’

Me: ‘’Not today, I have to work.’’

Magadu: ‘’Well I am going to church, I am a youth worker,’’ he said proudly as he showed me his recent certificate of baptism from his church. ‘’Are you somebody’s wife?’’

Me: ‘’No.’’ I responded with a slight frown as I was a little shocked at how forward this lad was. It was at this point that I began to get uncomfortable around this stranger so I pulled to the side of the main road and dropped him off.’’

Magadu: ‘’I hope we can be friends, thank you very much for the lift.’’

Me: ‘’Bye,’’ I responded as I sped off in order not to miss my appointment with stock books.

I forgot about this incident until about 2 days later when I had a knock at the gate at about 7:15am but since I was still in bed and this was my day off my sister went to check who it was. After a brief while she came back and asked me if I know a Magadu, I said I met him a few days ago but I did not know him. He had apparently asked to see me but had been sent away as it was too early for a random stranger to show up at our gate.

My sister asked if we had an appointment and I said no so she sent Magadu away but he said he preferred to wait for me. She did not hear any of that  and sent him away anyway only for her to find him seated at our gate post when she opened it 3 hours later to drive out to a meeting. She sent him away a second time and came in to ask me whether I was sure I had not forgotten about an appointment with a one Magadu. I answered in the negative and quickly closed the gate after she had exited. 

It was an odd occurrence but I decided to forget about it and got some breakfast ready as I prepared to take a shower so I could get down to some serious reading to prep for an exam the following day. However, 20 minutes later before I could step into the bath I heard a knock at the gate and so I got out of the shower and made myself decent. I opened the peep-hole at the gate and I peered through as I spoke,

Me: ‘’Hello is anyone there?

Magadu: ‘’Hello, its Magadu. I met you on Sunday morning.’’

Me: ‘’Uhh… yes, I remember.’’

Magadu: ‘’I came earlier to see you but your sister said it was too early to wake you.’’

Me: ‘’Yes she told me you wanted to see me but she did not tell me what it was about.’’

Magadu: ‘’Yes, I wanted to talk to you, can you come out?’’

Me: ‘’No, I am listening just tell me what this is about?’

Magadu: ‘’I was free at home today so I decided to come and help you.’’

Me: ‘’Help me, I do not understand. Help me with what?’’

Magadu: ‘’Wash your car, do some errands for you….’’

Me: ‘’Magadu, I met you on Sunday for about 3 minutes. I do not know you and you do not know me so how do you wake up and come to my house to help me?’’

Magadu: ‘’Yes because on Sunday I asked you if you were someone’s wife and you said no. So when I slept at night I thought about it and decided to come and talk to you. I love you.’’

Me: ‘’Pardon!’’ I blurted out of reflex not because I did not hear or understand but because it was the furthest thing from my mind.

Magadu: ‘’Yes, I want to spend time with you and talk to you. Can you come out and we talk?’’

Me: ‘’ No Magadu, I don’t know you. I met you just 2 days ago and we spoke for less than 3 minutes and now you love me. So is that why you woke up early this morning to come and sit at my gate for hours and wait for me? You can not to that.’’

Magadu: ‘’So you don’t want to see me, you don’t want to be my woman?’’

Me: ‘’No, Magadu I do not and please do not come to my house again. You are scaring my sister and making my neighbours very concerned.’’

Magadu: ‘’……but ….okay give me your phone number and I text you.’’

Me: ‘’No, Magadu. Do not come back to my house again I am going inside and I should not find you outside waiting for me again. If you cannot understand that then understand this, the next time I see you at my gate I will call the police.’’ I said this as I walked back into the house and locked all my doors and windows.

I was stunned for the better part of this conversation as I struggled to maintain a balance between being firm and not raging mad but ended up settling for the use of an elevated tone just short of yelling. The moral of this story is, mothers please raise your sons, do not leave any grey areas or things unsaid otherwise we will have many more Magadu’s in our world and this not something we would like. I will not be this kind to any more strangers going forward because I will be unsettled for the next few weeks every time I drive out of my gate.